Hamster Gone Bad!
News just in! The hamster that John Kerry reportedly saved in the sea a few years ago was arrested at LaGuardia Airport holding a .05 Caliber assault rifle. He reportedly joined a radical Islamic group after disappearing into anonymity.
He told reporters this, "I couldn't stand to see Bush winning like he is, so I tried to do whatever I could to help my man win. I mean, after all he saved my life. This was the least I could do for him."
A spokesman for the Kerry Campaign said that this is a major hoax created by the Republicans to take people's minds off of the real issues that plague the country.
Later that day, Kerry said in a speech to fur companies that he agreed with the use of the newest fashion, Hamster Fur Coats. He is scheduled to meet with members of PETA later on this month about the cruelty of Mink Coats.
Disclaimer: This isn't an actual story. But it is pretty funny.