Thursday, March 01, 2007

The Worst Villains

In following Wyatt, and now FM, I'm going to list my top 5 movie villains in movie history. These are the people that I absolutely despise and if they died in the movie, I gladly cheered. Wyatt's were Goldfinger, Mr. Blonde, Jonny Ringo, Darth Maul, and Agent Smith. Fm chose on top of that Hans Gruber, Vader, and Dracula. He stole one good one from me, but those guys are small time. Goldfinger does have the classic "No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die," is classic, but I've got better.

5. Longshanks/King Edward I - Braveheart: With solutions to ridding the English Island of the Scots by breeding them out, and offering a bounty for William Wallace by saying, "Bring me Wallace. Alive if possible, dead... just as good." The man was so evil, he threw his only son out the window of his castle, and when asked if he should use archers in a preliminary strike, he said, "Not the archers. My scouts tell me their archers are miles away and no threat to us. Arrows cost money. Use up the Irish. Their dead cost nothing. " Then after that he fires the archers into the crowd, killing ally and enemy alike. I cheered when the lady told him the blood line stopped at his deathbed.

4. Throne Stealer Commodus - Gladiator: Kills his own father when he chose Maximus as rightful heir, spends the rest of the movie lusting for his own sister, then goes ballistic when Maximus shows back up. "They tell me your son squealed like a girl when they nailed him to the cross. And your wife... moaned like a whore when they ravaged her again and again... and again." Then to try and ensure a victory over Maximus in the final fight, he stabs him in the artery to ensure he dies. Pure evil.

3. Verbal Kent - The Usual Suspects: (Spoiler) Kevin Spacey did a great job as this sneaky little weasel worked the crowd like a champ. No one would have expected that the greatest killer in the movie was the CRIPPLE (who wasn't actually crippled)."Keaton always said, 'I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him.' Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze." Not to mention, "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." Greatest trick, indeed.

2. Emperor Palpatine - Star Wars Series: If nothing else, he is the longest running villain of all. For six movies, starting from a lowly power hungry senator, to the viscous revealed Dark Lord/Dictator in the latter parts of the series. Screw Darth Vader, Palpatine MADE Darth Vader. The pure essence of the evil dictator, who got what he deserved from his own apprentice, and makes Vader look like a Hero.

1. Col. William Tavington - The Patriot: Jason Isaacs bleeds wretchedness from every orifice in this movie. From the first scene to the last, lines like "You! So you're the ghost are you? I remember you, and that farm. That stupid little boy. Did he die? Hmm? You know it's an ugly business doing one's duty...but just's a real pleasure." I only wish I could have been the one to drive that bayonet into his belly.